:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
