I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize