...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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