Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
