i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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