Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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