dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
