Dual....:-)
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
