The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
