My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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