I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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