i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
