AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
