the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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