I skipped work to stalk him.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
