are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
