how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
