Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize