you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
