Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She announced her abortion via fbk
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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