What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
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how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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