You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
