We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
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Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize