I CAN MOONWALK!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
