i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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