One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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