We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
