I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We are two peas in an std pod
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Randomize
