Don't make out with my wife yet
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
