help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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