What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She said her name was "party"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize