you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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