And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
a search helicopter?!
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
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Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You've changed since you got that strap on
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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