...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
