Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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