We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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