Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
