Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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