This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
