I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
