just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
