Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
