uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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