suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
