I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
