just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
