we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Randomize
