i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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