I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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