my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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