i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
