they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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