Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
