Texts From Last Night

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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.

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  (985): i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not. http://tfl.nu/eg76
  Replies (54) Good night (2920) Bad night (570)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"

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  (212): Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers" http://tfl.nu/w9dn
  Replies (8) Good night (3716) Bad night (709)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life

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  (571): I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life http://tfl.nu/ta8c
  Replies (5) Good night (3411) Bad night (1293)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis

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  (816): I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis http://tfl.nu/fnup
  Replies (77) Good night (5535) Bad night (884)
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  (949): View more from California

  Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.

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  (949): Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less. http://tfl.nu/ezlm
  Replies (15) Good night (1759) Bad night (3702)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?

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  (609): How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone? http://tfl.nu/ubfa
  Replies (5) Good night (2707) Bad night (994)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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  (904): Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do. http://tfl.nu/0tan
  Replies (18) Good night (5992) Bad night (1322)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god was she eating orange peels again

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  (508): oh god was she eating orange peels again http://tfl.nu/g701
  Replies (8) Good night (1119) Bad night (2338)
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  (562): View more from California

  I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service

  (562): View more from California

  And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.

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  (562): I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service (562): And I got $4 when somebody made it rain. http://tfl.nu/btbw
  Replies (4) Good night (2399) Bad night (1054)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.

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  (570): Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question. http://tfl.nu/xjer
  Replies (3) Good night (1708) Bad night (389)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't

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  (419): He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't http://tfl.nu/8sga
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (881)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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  (313): I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs http://tfl.nu/01r5
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (1065)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.

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  (317): I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing. (1-317): As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you. http://tfl.nu/0owh
  Replies (5) Good night (1331) Bad night (368)
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  (310): View more from California

  Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing

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  (310): Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing http://tfl.nu/gwvn
  Replies (3) Good night (589) Bad night (318)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"

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  (303): All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over" http://tfl.nu/zffi
  Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (256)

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