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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (817): View more from Texas

  New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.

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• (516): View more from New York

  There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.

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