Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's worth it.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How worth it?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Back door worth it

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  (248): Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up? (312): It's worth it. (248): How worth it? (312): Back door worth it http://tfl.nu/ijuf
  Replies (4) Good night (4567) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun

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  (718): We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun http://tfl.nu/cluc
  Replies (18) Good night (7918) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.

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  (630): but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/k5cc
  Replies (17) Good night (605) Bad night (4849)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

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  (347): i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning http://tfl.nu/jabd
  Replies (13) Good night (4350) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend

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  (267): Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend http://tfl.nu/as99
  Replies (21) Good night (5608) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.

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  (814): I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up. http://tfl.nu/mktj
  Replies (19) Good night (6132) Bad night (2370)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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  (304): You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up http://tfl.nu/adeo
  Replies (35) Good night (7731) Bad night (1292)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Actually, she's fat now, so...

  (817): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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  (817): He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but... (1-817): Actually, she's fat now, so... (817): Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson. http://tfl.nu/7993
  Replies (27) Good night (2091) Bad night (5262)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1

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  (347): I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1 http://tfl.nu/kfm1
  Replies (5) Good night (2289) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.

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  (361): He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears. http://tfl.nu/n3l2
  Replies (7) Good night (1117) Bad night (2883)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.

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  (256): I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night. http://tfl.nu/42hk
  Replies (0) Good night (1366) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.

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  (540): Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one. http://tfl.nu/xdjm
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.

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  (412): Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night. http://tfl.nu/dy0t
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in

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  (484): he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in http://tfl.nu/1zjs
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever

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  (919): I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever http://tfl.nu/et05
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (887)

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