Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  guess who came home with a hottie last night

  (1-805): View more from California

  Def drugged

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  (805): guess who came home with a hottie last night (1-805): Def drugged http://tfl.nu/j05c
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (889)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night

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  (248): no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night http://tfl.nu/lrsx
  Replies (12) Good night (1400) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Who wears a wallet chain?!

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  (203): Who wears a wallet chain?! http://tfl.nu/1rec
  Replies (40) Good night (650) Bad night (2447)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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  (334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. http://tfl.nu/rn3o
  Replies (41) Good night (12620) Bad night (1639)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth

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  (847): Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth http://tfl.nu/6ed0
  Replies (29) Good night (4499) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.

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  (704): I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better. http://tfl.nu/5ydt
  Replies (15) Good night (3186) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.

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  (954): Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it. http://tfl.nu/slzd
  Replies (19) Good night (1625) Bad night (3968)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.

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  (502): I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day. http://tfl.nu/53ab
  Replies (5) Good night (2212) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.

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  (706): I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable. http://tfl.nu/ug12
  Replies (3) Good night (1367) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.

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  (412): The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD. http://tfl.nu/wyib
  Replies (1) Good night (1639) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night

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  (631): im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night http://tfl.nu/im54
  Replies (5) Good night (2859) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.

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  (915): Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand. http://tfl.nu/jhm4
  Replies (4) Good night (1211) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.

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  (814): Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside. http://tfl.nu/5xt4
  Replies (6) Good night (388) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.

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  (225): I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you. http://tfl.nu/gxsp
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.

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  (740): Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls. http://tfl.nu/nbbw
  Replies (19) Good night (386) Bad night (982)

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