so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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