i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize