I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
