I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
