shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
