You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize