Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
