I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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