Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize