Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
