I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
