I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
