I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
