I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
